Monday, February 1, 2010

Today I'm a mess. Unapologetically.

I've been anxiously awaiting an email from a dear friend, hoping that it's filled with information or details so that I can quickly plan my escape.


Yes - I choose that I word and I'm not coloring the situation to be something it's not. Realizing you're unhappy with your current situation and not knowing or having the means to change it is a dreadful thing.

Escape. Run. Change. Hibernate.

For some reason, these are the only things that make sense right now.

Had a dream I should quit my job. Had a dream I was in the hills. Woke up sweating and at 9:30 am (I'm suppose to be at work at 9). Frantic, put on shoes I bought impulsively. Uncomfortable and pointy. Heels. Who is this girl wearing heels and rushing to her 9 - 5 job. I had dreams. I had dreams alright.

It will be amazing if I still have a job by the end of this day. But of course, I know I will. And it really is not that amazing. She loves me like her child.

Today I feel like one.

I know I'm making this out to be much more dramatic than it is or needs to be. Wearing heels and having a 9 -5 is not the end of the world. Or to the contrary, my dreams.

Suck it up Jazmine. Figure it out.

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