"I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart"

..... ................ .......................

separation has never been so tough
i feel weak and vulnerable
not the jazmine i know

all of my big changes have always been universally impulsive
i never really know the reason until much later after
i've done something drastic that makes no sense
and completely uproots me
but it always seems to work out for the better
and although I have no idea how
this situation will turn out
i feel this is for the better
even though i don't know why
i know what feels right
and i know what feels like a resistance
to letting go
and i know what i have to do

everything else can be a blur
i'll accept that
as long as i know what feels right

i remember you like the rain...
your coat could
never cover me from my sorrows
but talking to women in sheds
and on the wildcat could...
you could never glue back
the broken pieces of the night

i still check up on you ..... all the time.

you'e being a child....


can't let go of the past
and what was.


i miss you already
i miss you already


i don't want let go

i don't want to let go

i feel bad because i feel like we never survived "up north".

and maybe that was my fault.

i was so in love with you back then,

funny how it can all change so soon.

druken fight and a hit and run

never knew it would cost me my love

i think back to that night all the time,,,,,

Sometimes you are a lovely scapegoat..
Sometimes I need that to motivate myself

Sometimes you are everything I need and more
and sometimes you are just not enough

Emotional Hiccup Part 1

For me, monogamy is comparable to staying in your hometown your entire life and never leaving.


....



I might be going a little crazy.


I thought that maybe I could change, I thought maybe I had changed.



Love, you were suppose to be enough.



Love I thought you'd make me want a husband,
a family,
monogamy,
forever,

I thought I could still have me
with you
and that maybe we could coexist
especially
if we had two rooms.


But it's fucking TIGHT in here... my seams are stretching, my eyes are wandering,
and I'm consistently making an active choice
to not be an asshole.



I am still choosing you, Love.

Everyday, every minute of every hour.

I am still choosing you.

Tonight I screamed the whole way home out of happiness and excitement.

I am thrilled because I am getting my first weekend off in months...
I am thrilled beacuse I am ...(sidenote...I'm a little drunk and I don't feel ) likecoreecting m english mistkases forgive me.)
...becauwe I love my coworekders and because I lve y job and everything. This is also making me laugh hystericalley becaue I cant; type for shit right now. sorry.


I also lovce that i'nm going to boston for my first time. I;m just happy. m y liofe ois good. i'm cRACHIKING MY7OELF O=UP RIGHT TNOW;...

i work with amazing, artistic peiople who inspiore me to the tenth degree. they also make me laugh uncontrollably at work. alwyas, thank you universe thakm you. ;)